[as]

i have found the cure!
it's absolutely amazing, it's changed my life!
this is reality, this is what it means to live!
it's the most special thing in the world!
i can't live without it now. at all.
it's there for me when my days are bad and calamity hits.
it makes my joys greater, my smile sunnier.
it's truly performed a miracle in my life.
it has transformed me, inside and out.
i didn't know what life was before,.
i didn't have any purpose. now i do.
it is the best thing thats ever happened to me.
i wouldn't trade having it for the whole entire world.
i'm not exaggerating.
it's that amazing.

but... you know.... i don't really think it's important
enough to share it with you. i know it's what you need,
what you've been searching for.
but... it's a little too much trouble to tell you what will save your life.
too embarrassing for me to speak... in case for some reason, you don't
believe me. i mean... i could give you the special cure...but if you
don't listen the first time, don't expect me to tell you again.
of course, i know i said this was worth dying for, but really... well, it IS. but like, that won't ever happen, and in the meantime, i don't really want to be inconvenienced by having to tell you about this life saving cure. it would only take five minutes, but i'm six minutes late... so... maaaaybe... some other time. when i feel like it. i'm sure you won't die before i tell you. well at least... i hope not.......