[as]

I'm tired of having "right" thoughts
of saying everything's fine.
I'm tired of smiling and faking it
of not letting on what's inside.
I'm tired of praying and getting no answer
of not letting anything sad or depressing come through my lips.
I'm exhausted.
of wrestling with myself.
of doubting myself.
of doubting God.
I'm tired of thinking.
of feeling.
of remembering.
I'm tired of thinking back.
knowing i most likely can't go back.