dark.and.light

odd as it may sound, i took a shower in the complete
pitch dark last night. no sound but the water. no light.
not even from under the door. there are few times when
i've felt so alone. interesting. i didn't feel at all alone until
i switched off the light. darkness has a way of making
you feel certain things more intensely. i knew it was
impossible, but it felt like someone else was in the room.
"someone", as in one of my siblings to play a joke on me.
i switched on the light a few times just to be sure, and of course.
no one was there. as i groped for the soap, i pondered. why
does darkness make you feel alone? why is it that, just because
you can't see for a time, you're scared? why does an irrational
fear come over you when you're surrounded by the dark?
it's because we're not in control, isn't it. because we're vulnerable.
because someone could be there to play a prank on me, and i
would be unaware. because i can't handle the situation because
i don't know what the situation is. unless we have eyes to see,
we're dead meat for the fears that overwhelm. they can be real,
legitimate fears, or silly fears as in "there could be a spider in the
shower and now my neck feels all tingly so i'm sure there is one"
and your arm reaches out like lightning to switch the light on.
fear of not persevering to the end. fear of not doing what you
know you should. fear of letting someone or yourself down.
when we don't turn the light on in our souls, chaos happens.
darkness is just waiting for an opportunity to run into your
mind. it feeds off of our vulnerability.

at one time. you were darkness. but now you are light
in the Lord. walk [do life] as children of light. the fruit
of light is found in all that is good and right and true.
try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. take no part
in the unfruitful works of darkness. instead, expose them.
when anything! is exposed by the light... it becomes visible.
look oh so carefully how you walk. not unwisely. but with
wisdom. redeem and make the best use of the time.
because really. the days we live in are evil. so! don't be foolish.
but understand what the will of the Lord is. eph. 5.8-17